It's puzzle time!
Complete the following DVD Jumble to prove yourself as a DVD Master:
1) VDD
2) CISD
3) ORBIN LILIMAWS
4) KOONSI
5) xxX
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
DVD Jokes
It's Thursday so lets let our sweatpants on and have a relaxing time on this blog. Here are some classic DVD jokes.
Q: Why did the DVD cross the road?
A: It was in the tray of a gigantic DVD player so large that the tray spanned across the road, and to press eject on the remote would send the DVD across the road, and into the body of the DVD player, which was on the other side.
Q: How many DVD's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One giant one, with a circle in the center so large that you can fit it around the bulb and twist.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like DVD's?
A: They are less than 15 years old.
A Blu-Ray walks into a bar and sits down at the counter. The bartender says "Hey, why the long load time?"
Q: Why did the DVD cross the road?
A: It was in the tray of a gigantic DVD player so large that the tray spanned across the road, and to press eject on the remote would send the DVD across the road, and into the body of the DVD player, which was on the other side.
Q: How many DVD's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One giant one, with a circle in the center so large that you can fit it around the bulb and twist.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like DVD's?
A: They are less than 15 years old.
A Blu-Ray walks into a bar and sits down at the counter. The bartender says "Hey, why the long load time?"
Monday, February 8, 2010
Keeping Your DVDs Clean
Dear Cody,
My DVDs look like a scratch festival, and now the scenes in my movies are illegible. What can I do to prevent this and is there any way to get rid of scratches that are already in existance?
Sincerely,
Joey B.
Brooklyn, NYC,
Thank you Joeyb. This is a good question and an even better letter. The best way to prevent DVD scratches is to maintain proper hand care. Much like a classical guitarist's tone comes from his daily hand care, a DVD film print will only be as clean as the hand that places it in the tray. Here's a good daily regimen:
1) Soak hands in warm water for 30 seconds.
2) Soak hands in cold water for 30 seconds. (The cold will freeze in the heat)
3) Have fingernails professionally pedicured by a licensed pedicurist. I suggest Korean places, as Koreans have better taste in film. Let them know you are doing this for DVD handling and they will most likely offer a 'Film Buff' discount. You may have to ask this question in Korean.
4) Rub hands with extra-virgin olive oil.
5) Refrain from manual stimulation of genitals entirely. Penises and vaginae can be abrasive to your sensitive hand meat.
Now your movies will be as gorgeous as the day you bought them! Here's a good scratch removal method:
1) Buy new DVD.
2) Treat DVD with better care.
3) Lurk more, n00b (newbie)!
My DVDs look like a scratch festival, and now the scenes in my movies are illegible. What can I do to prevent this and is there any way to get rid of scratches that are already in existance?
Sincerely,
Joey B.
Brooklyn, NYC,
Thank you Joeyb. This is a good question and an even better letter. The best way to prevent DVD scratches is to maintain proper hand care. Much like a classical guitarist's tone comes from his daily hand care, a DVD film print will only be as clean as the hand that places it in the tray. Here's a good daily regimen:
1) Soak hands in warm water for 30 seconds.
2) Soak hands in cold water for 30 seconds. (The cold will freeze in the heat)
3) Have fingernails professionally pedicured by a licensed pedicurist. I suggest Korean places, as Koreans have better taste in film. Let them know you are doing this for DVD handling and they will most likely offer a 'Film Buff' discount. You may have to ask this question in Korean.
4) Rub hands with extra-virgin olive oil.
5) Refrain from manual stimulation of genitals entirely. Penises and vaginae can be abrasive to your sensitive hand meat.
Now your movies will be as gorgeous as the day you bought them! Here's a good scratch removal method:
1) Buy new DVD.
2) Treat DVD with better care.
3) Lurk more, n00b (newbie)!
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